Monday, June 08, 2009

Boomerang Express VBS

Why is this posted on a mind-numbing Monday? Because it's mind-numbing that it's time for VBS again! I thought we just finished the one from last year! Oh well. It's here, so let's get after it. Please pray for all the teachers, workers, etc. as they teach children how "It all comes back to Jesus!"

Boomerang Express VBS
June 8-12
6:30-9:00 PM
Ages 3 yrs-5th grade

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

A Conflict Of Beliefs?

While reading about the murder of abortion doctor, George Tiller, I noticed that he was killed at a church which started me pondering some thoughts. How can a man who claimed membership at a Reformation Lutheran Church perform such ungodly and hideous acts such as abortion? Was his religion just that...a religion? Did that church teach that life did not begin until birth? Was it a "don't ask, don't tell" type situation? Obviously, anyone can claim Christianity and still live a life of sin, but usually it is not an "open" sin. Of course, he probably did not see abortion as a sin, so there was no conflict of interest...I mean beliefs.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Gay Clergy

It is sad that the Episcopalian denomination had to kick out 61 gay clergy members. I don't mean it's sad that they did it; I mean it's sad that they had to do it. How can any "clergy member" say that the Bible does not speak/teach against homosexuality? Someone has not done their homework! Of course, homosexuality is not the only sin that would be worthy of discipline, but it seems to be the one in the spotlight right now. So, how can some "churches" and "clergy members" hold such an anti-Biblical, unscriptural view and allow "gay clergy"? Well, maybe it's because we have some wolves in sheep's clothing. But then again, what do I know. I just take the Bible for what it says.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Saving Old Yeller

Man saves dog by sucking snake venom from his nose (AP)
Cheyenne, Wyo. - A man said he saved his dog's life after sucking venom from a rattlesnake bite out of the animal's nose. Bobby Jenkins said he began feeling ill after getting his dog, Tank, to a veterinarian. He went to the hospital and received a dose of antivenin. In all, Jenkins needed four vials of antivenin at a cost of $3,500 per vial. Meanwhile, Jenkins said his dog's head swelled up to three times its normal size. Tank had been bitten after running under some equipment on the family ranch. The dog also received antivenin and both Jenkins and his dog have recovered.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Delilah - The Samson Version


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Muslim Demographics

You must watch this video and be aware of what is happening.



Memorial Day Weekend

Remember to thank the Lord for the many brave men and women who sacrificed so much so that we might have the freedom and liberty we enjoy today, and may God bless America!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Refrigerated Beach At Dubai?

(from www.funnynewsmos.com)

Versace, the renowned fashion house, is to create the world’s first refrigerated beach so that hotel guests can walk comfortably across the sand on scorching days.

The beach will be next to the the new Palazzo Versace hotel which is being built in Dubai where summer temperatures average 40C and can reach 50C.

The beach will have a network of pipes beneath the sand containing a coolant that will absorb heat from the surface.

The swimming pool will be refrigerated and there are also proposals to install giant blowers to waft a gentle breeze over the beach.

Soheil Abedian, founder and president of Palazzo Versace, said he believed it is possible to design a refrigerated beach and make it sustainable. “We will suck the heat out of the sand to keep it cool enough to lie on,” he said. “This is the kind of luxury that top people want.”

Hyder Consulting, a British construction consultancy, is overseeing the engineering on the project. The hotel will be marketed strongly in the UK where Dubai is a popular tourist destination, attracting about 800,000 Britons a year.

Abedian’s firm began its association with Versace a decade ago with the idea of creating the first chain of luxury fashion-branded lifestyle resorts.

The first Palazzo Versace is already operating on Australia’s Gold Coast – where Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, the actors, have stayed – and the Dubai hotel will be the second when it opens late next year or early 2010. The 10-storey hotel will have 213 rooms, several with their own internal swimming pools, plus 169 apartments. Fifteen more such hotels are planned.

Competition to serve the world’s rich is getting intense, especially in Dubai. The city already boasts the world’s first seven-star hotel, the Burj Al Arab, while Armani, a competitor with Versace, is building a similarly branded Dubai hotel.

The refrigerated beach is designed to give Versace the edge in this battle of luxury lifestyles. The system will be controlled by thermostats linked to computers.

Source: Times Online

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Mustard Seed & Leaven

18Then said he, "Unto what is the kingdom of God like? and whereunto shall I resemble it? 19It is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and cast into his garden; and it grew, and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it." 20And again he said, "Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God? 21It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened." (Luke 13:18-21)

In doing much study concerning the parable of the Mustard Seed and the Leaven in Luke 13 (can be also found in Matthew 13 - different time period), I have come to the conclusion that the commentators are split 50/50 over the meaning of the parables. Some commentators argue that the parables are to be seen in a positive light, i.e., the parables illustrate the growth of the Kingdom of God. Other commentators, however, argue that the symbols given in the parables (birds, leaven) are to be seen in a negative light and illustrate the permeation of apostate churches, evil, etc. in the Kingdom of God. One commentator varied from both of these ideas and stated that the birds represented the Gentiles who would be brought in to the Kingdom of God, but as one of our deacons stated, "Aren't they grafted in?" For as long as I can remember, I have heard preachers (and now commentators) debate over the meaning of this passage. I do not have a 100% perspective on what it means though I tend to side with the "negative" viewpoint. If any of you scholars, or Bible-studiers, have an answer to this, let me know!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Required Reading

I am currently reading several good books. Some are better than others, but basically I would recommend them all.

The 5,000 Year Leap: A Miracle That Changed The World (Author: Cleon Skousen) - A good read for greater understanding of our political system. If you have questions about our government and where it went wrong, then read this book for some basic understanding.

What In The World Is Going On? 10 Prophetic Clues You Cannot Afford To Ignore (Author: Dr. David Jeremiah) - Another good read concerning prophecy on a basic level. I like Dr. David Jeremiah but was hoping for a much more in-depth book. However, I still recommend it because it does give a good overall understanding of prophecy concerning today.

Shadowmarch: Volume I (Author: Tad Williams) - I have just started reading this sci-fi/fantasy book. It looks like it will be another good read, however, I really am waiting on Patrick Rothfuss' sequel to The Name Of The Wind: Kingkiller Chronicle, Day 1.

10 Choices: A Proven Plan To Change Your Life Forever (Author: Dr. James MacDonald) - Still reading this, but so far, good reading concerning our basic choices in our life.

Church Discipline (Master of Theology Thesis by Bro. Ralph Simmons) - Good doctrinal teaching concerning scriptural discipline and even gives examples of church discipline from our area (several are included from the history of Ebenezer Baptist Church!).

Magazines of Interest:
Biblical Archaeology Review
World
National Geographic
Sports Illustrated

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

American "Idol" Goes Christian?

Now, first, let me say that basically I don't watch American Idol except at the very beginning where they show people that sing about as well as I do. However, after the "funny" auditions are over, I tend not to pay attention to the show. But according to the newswires, two of the three finalists this year are Christian. Not only that, but the two Christians are worship leaders at their respective churches.
From reading different articles, it seems Christians are somewhat divided on the issue of a Christian being on American Idol. Are we to shun the show because of content and the name which includes the word "Idol," or should we embrace the Christians who win this show and see it as another avenue for us to reach those in the mainstream? Or, is there another way of viewing this whole topic?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Quit Trying To Make Everybody Happy!!!

It seems as if the Pope has no backbone and finds himself needing to please everyone. While I'm not a fan of the Papacy, they could at least have the backbone to tell the Palestinians that they have no historical, religious, or any other claim to a state. But then again, that wouldn't be popular, would it?

Pope in Israel calls for Palestinian homeland

JERUSALEM – Pope Benedict XVI called for the establishment of an independent Palestinian homeland immediately after he arrived in Israel Monday, a stance that could put him at odds with his hosts on a trip aimed at improving ties between the Vatican and Jews.

The pope also took on the delicate issue of the Holocaust, pledging to "honor the memory" of the 6 million Jewish victims of the Nazi genocide at the start of his five-day visit to Israel and the Palestinian territories.

Benedict touched down in Israel on the second leg of a weeklong pilgrimage to the Holy Land, after spending three days in neighboring Jordan. He is using the tour to reach out to both Muslims and Jews.

In his first public comments upon arriving, Benedict urged Israelis and Palestinians to "explore every possible avenue" to resolve their differences.

"The hopes of countless men, women and children for a more secure and stable future depend on the outcome of negotiations for peace," he told a welcoming ceremony at Israel's international airport. "In union with people of goodwill everywhere, I plead with all those responsible to explore every possible avenue in the search for a just resolution of the outstanding difficulties, so that both peoples may live in peace in a homeland of their own within secure and internationally recognized borders."

While Benedict has spoken in favor of a Palestinian homeland in the past, the timing and location of his comments were noteworthy.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who was in the audience, has pointedly refused to endorse the two-state solution since his election. But he is expected to come under pressure to do so when he travels to Washington next week. Netanyahu did not speak at the ceremony, then flew to Egypt for talks on regional issues with President Hosni Mubarak.

Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman Yigal Palmor played down the pope's comments, saying he was voicing a long-standing position shared by the U.S. and European countries.

"At any rate, discussing this is not the purpose of the visit," he said.

Parliament speaker Reuven Rivlin conspicuously skipped the airport ceremony, though his office said he would join the pope at Israel's Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial.

The pope has tried to improve interfaith relations throughout his four-year papacy, and as a cardinal, had a long record of promoting dialogue with other faiths. But Benedict has had to tread carefully on his Middle East visit because of past gaffes.

Benedict angered many in the Muslim world three years ago when he quoted a medieval text that characterized some of Islam's Prophet Muhammad's teachings as "evil and inhuman," particularly "his command to spread by the sword the faith." He later expressed regret that his comments offended Muslims.

Before leaving Jordan, he said he had a "deep respect" for Islam.

The Vatican has also been widely accused over the years of not doing enough to stop the Holocaust — a charge it rejects. And the German-born pope himself has faced questions for his involvement in the Hitler Youth corps during the war. Benedict says he was coerced.

The pope outraged Jews earlier this year when he revoked the excommunication of a British bishop who denies the Holocaust. Ties were further strained when a senior Vatican official said during Israel's recent military campaign in Gaza that the territory resembled a "big concentration camp."

Later Monday, Benedict was scheduled to lay a wreath at Yad Vashem.

"It is right and fitting that, during my stay in Israel, I will have the opportunity to honor the memory of the 6 million Jewish victims of the shoah," he said, using the Hebrew word for the Holocaust. He said he would "pray that humanity will never again witness a crime of such magnitude."

Israel and the Vatican are also at odds over the legacy of World War II pontiff Pius XII, a candidate for sainthood. At Yad Vashem, Benedict will not visit the main part of the museum, where a photo caption says Pius did not protest the Nazi genocide of Jews and maintained a largely "neutral position."

Dignitaries and religious leaders greeted the pontiff at a red-carpet ceremony at the Tel Aviv airport. Yellow and white Vatican flags fluttered alongside blue and white Israeli banners as an honor guard played in the background.

The pope smiled as he walked along the carpet, flanked by Israeli President Shimon Peres on one side and Netanyahu on the other. Other political leaders, along with black-robed Christian clergymen and Muslim religious leaders, stood in line to shake his hand.

"Your visit here brings a blessed understanding between religions and spreads peace near and far. Historic Israel and the renewed Israel together welcome your arrival as paving the great road to peace," Peres said.

Later, the pope flew by helicopter to Jerusalem for another red-carpet ceremony. Mayor Nir Barkat handed Benedict an ancient map of the world, with Jerusalem in the center and dozens of children from three schools — Christian, Jewish and Muslim — welcomed him. The children waved Israeli and Vatican flags and red carnations, and many wore T-shirts that read, "I'm with the pope in Jerusalem."

"He loves us and wants peace," said David Sahagian, a 10-year-old from a Christian school in east Jerusalem. "I want there to be peace in Jerusalem and I want him to give us his blessing."

In the Gaza Strip, Palestinians were angry that the pope planned to meet with the family of an Israeli soldier held by militants in Gaza for nearly three years but would not meet with relatives of any of the 11,000 Palestinian prisoners imprisoned in Israel.

Israeli police shut down a media center for the pope's visit that the Palestinian Authority had set up at an east Jerusalem hotel. Israeli authorities object to any attempt by the Palestinians to use east Jerusalem for official business because that would suggest Palestinian sovereignty there. Israel captured east Jerusalem in the 1967 Mideast war and the Palestinians claim it as capital of a future state.

Friday, May 08, 2009

A Mom's Overture

Happy Mother's Day!!!


Thursday, May 07, 2009

National Day Of (Private) Prayer

It is a sad state when a "Christian" president does not desire to publicly pray on the National Day of Prayer. Of course, I guess it makes sense because we are not a "Christian" nation, and there is to be "separation of state and church." (Previous statements dripping with sarcasm) What a difference it would make if the leadership of this nation openly called for us to repent and stand with God. But all is not lost, for at least one leader is taking a stand.

Since our President has declared that we no longer consider ourselves a Christian nation, Congressman Randy Forbes will introduce "America's Spiritual Heritage Resolution" (H. Res. 397) at a press conference tomorrow on Capitol Hill to reaffirm America's rich Judeo-Christian heritage.

II Chronicles 7:14 - If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

God Will Not Bless America
If things keep going this way, there is no way He will bless America!
(from the AP newswires)
WASHINGTON -- After an emotional debate, the D.C. Council gave final approval Tuesday to legislation that recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other states.
The vote is considered the first step toward eventually allowing gay marriages to be performed in Washington. Congress, which has final say over the city's laws, will get 30 days to review the bill assuming Democratic Mayor Adrian Fenty, a supporter, signs it. If Congress takes no action, the bill will become law automatically. President Barack Obama and congressional leaders have not signaled where they stand.
"The march towards equality is coming to this country, and you can either be a part of it or stand in the way," said David Catania, one of two openly gay D.C. Council members.
Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa already allow gay marriage and lawmakers in several other states are considering whether to do the same. New York recognizes gay marriages performed in other states.
The D.C. Council vote was 12-to-1, with former Mayor Marion Barry casting the lone opposing vote. He called it an "agonizing and difficult decision" that he made after prayer and consulting with the religious community.
Catania called the issue one of fundamental fairness and said it's about acknowledging that his family is just as valid as anybody else's.
The congressional review could be the new Congress' first opportunity to signal its appetite for re-examining the Defense of Marriage Act, which bars federal recognition of same-sex marriages and allows states to do the same.
Advocates from both sides were part of an overflow crowd that filled city hall, and more than 100 opponents from churches in the Washington region held a rally across the street on Freedom Plaza. Among them was the Rev. Derek McCoy from the Hope Christian Church in Beltsville, Md.
"Once you redefine marriage, you redefine family," he said.
Gay marriage supporters gathered outside the council hearing room included Ed Grandis, a lawyer who lives in Dupont Circle with his husband, J.D. Campos. The pair married in California last year during the time same-sex marriage was legal there, and they hope to have their marriage recognized in D.C.
"We don't have any interest in making their religious institution recognize our marriage or our relationship," Grandis said. Instead, Grandis said, it's about the government recognizing the couple's civil rights.
The district already recognizes domestic partnerships, but gay marriage supporters say that's not enough.
"It's an equality issue," said Sara Mindel, who has been with her partner for nine years and has a 10-month-old son. "In my mind, marriage, although it's a wonderful religious ceremony, ultimately gives you so many important states rights and legal rights."

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Mother's Day

This coming Sunday we will celebrate Mother's Day and honor the many godly women of our congregation. What a blessing it is to see God work through so many women and provide a stable foundation for the lives of children (of all ages!). And yes, all of us could share stories of how our mother provided, sacrificed, and loved us, but I would like to do something different this year. To you, who is the greatest mother of the Bible? (You do not have to answer Mary just because she is the mother of Jesus.) What mother of the Bible has given you hope, laughter, understanding, etc.? Leave a comment (and then share stories about your mother!).

Monday, May 04, 2009

Dr Pepper Artifact May Reveal Soft Drink's Secret Recipe

Monday , May 04, 2009 (AP)

DALLAS — Poking through antiques stores while traveling through the Texas Panhandle, Bill Waters stumbled across a tattered old ledger book filled with formulas.

He bought it for $200, suspecting he could resell it for five times that. Turns out, his inkling about the book's value was more spot on than he knew. The Tulsa, Okla., man eventually discovered the book came from the Waco, Texas, drugstore where Dr Pepper was invented and includes a recipe titled "D Peppers Pepsin Bitters."

"I began feeling like I had a national treasure," said Waters, 59.

Dr Pepper's manufacturer says the recipe is not the secret formula for the modern day soft drink, but the 8 1/2-by-15 1/2 inch book is expected to sell between $50,000 to $75,000 when it goes up for auction at Dallas-based Heritage Auction Galleries on May 13.

"It probably has specks of the original concoction on its pages," Waters said.

Waters discovered the book, its yellowed pages stained brown on the edges, underneath a wooden medicine bottle crate in a Shamrock antiques store last summer. A couple months after buying it, he took a closer look as he prepared to sell it on eBay.

He noticed there were several sheets with letterheads hinting at its past, like a page from a prescription pad from a Waco store titled "W.B. Morrison & Co. Old Corner Drug Store." An Internet search revealed Dr Pepper, first served in 1885, was invented at the Old Corner Drug Store in Waco by a pharmacist named Charles Alderton. Wade Morrison was a store owner.

Faded letters on the book's fraying brown cover say "Castles Formulas." John Castles was a partner of Morrison's for a time and was a druggist at that location as early as 1880, said Mary Beth Webster, collections manager at the Dr Pepper Museum and Free Enterprise Institute in Waco.

As he gathered more information, Waters took a slower turn through the book's more than 360 pages, which are filled with formulas for everything from piano polish to a hair restorer to a cough syrup. He eventually spotted the "D Peppers Pepsin Bitters" formula.

"It took three or four days before I actually realized what I had there," Waters said.

The recipe written in cursive in the ledger book is hard to make out, but ingredients seem to include mandrake root, sweet flag root and syrup.

It isn't a recipe for a soft drink, says Greg Artkop, a spokesman for the Plano-based Dr Pepper Snapple Group. He said it's likely instead a recipe for a bitter digestive that bears the Dr Pepper name.

He said the recipe certainly bears no resemblance to any Dr Pepper recipes the company knows of. The drink's 23-flavor blend is a closely guarded secret, only known by three Dr Pepper employees, he said.

Michael Riley, chief cataloger and historian for Heritage Auction Galleries, said they think it's an early recipe for Dr Pepper.

"We just feel like it's the earliest version of it," he said.

He hasn't, however, tested that theory by trying to mix up a batch. Neither has Waters; he's thought about it but would need to find someone to decipher all the handwriting.

Jack McKinney, executive director of the Waco museum, surmised that Alderton might have been giving customers something for their stomachs and added some Dr Pepper syrup to make it taste better.

"I don't guess there's any definitive answer. It's got to be the only one of its kind," Riley said.

McKinney said the ledger book was bound to be popular with Dr Pepper collectors because it's from the time the drink was invented.

Riley said the book was probably started around 1880 and used through the 1890s. It's not known who wrote the Dr Pepper recipe in the book, but they don't think it was the handwriting of Alderton or Morrison. Some of the formulas have Alderton's name after them.

At first, Alderton's drink inspired by the smells in the drugstore was called "a Waco." "People would come in and say, 'Shoot me a Waco,'" Riley said.

Soon renamed Dr Pepper, the drink caught on and other stores in town began selling it. Eventually, Alderton got out of the Dr Pepper business and Morrison and a man named Robert Lazenby started a bottling company in 1891.

Flipping through the pages of the ledger book takes one back to a time when drugstores were neighborhood hubs, selling everything from health remedies to beauty products mixed up by the stores' chemists. And among the formulas being mixed up in drugstores were treats for the soda fountain. A two-page spread in Waters' book has recipes for "Soda Water Syrups," including pineapple, lemon and strawberry.

"There were very few national brands," Riley said. "Their lifeblood was all their formulas."

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Kevin Clinton Motorcycle Accident

Everyone please pray for Kyle's father, Kevin Clinton. He was involved in an accident and broke both his legs. They have set his legs and will perform surgery tomorrow morning. They are going to (or have already) insert steel rods into his legs. He will be off his feet for 2 weeks. He will have 3-4 months of recovery.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Security Of The Believer

What is your favorite verse proving that once a person is saved they cannot lose their salvation? Alternatively, is their a verse that sometimes gives you problems in this area? (My logic class is debating this topic in chapel today and tomorrow. Thought you might like to have some input.)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

300th Post

Well, it doesn't seem that long ago since this blog was started. Now it has reached the 300 level. Who knows, one day it might reach the 1,000 mark! But either way, it has been interesting and fun. Some of the topics/posts have been side-splitting funny while others have been tear-jerking sad. Some have addressed doctrinal issues while others have addressed contemporary issues. There have been questions, updates, polls, etc. What fun! In the future, hopefully, more pressing issues and concerns will be addressed (but don't worry, the fun will still be there!). Either way, come on in, have fun, leave a comment, and enjoy the blogosphere!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Sunday School Opportunities - Part 1

What would it take for everybody at your church (Ebenezer included!) to attend Sunday School? Why does it not seem as important as other parts of worship? It is a great time for small groups and close detailed study. Not to mention, it allows you to ask questions, discuss problems, and minister to one another. Please share concerns and ideas for helping improve this vital ministry of our churches (or church Ebenezer!).

Monday, April 27, 2009

NEW New Hate Crime Legislation

Since everyone seems to be running to the forefront for "hate-crimes" protection, I think it would be quite proper for the following to be passed and added to all the hate-crimes legislation.

Hate Crime Protection For Christians
Christians, being defined as those who practice Christianity, have protection from injury and death accordingly. Therefore, any individual spewing hatred, obscenities, or demoralizing remarks towards Christianity and its adherents may be in violation of Federal Law, Statute 777.12. Any individual condoning acts of hatred, violence, and injury towards said protected group can be imprisoned for inciting violence towards a federally protected group. Such criminal activity includes, but is not limited to, False Reporting by media outlets, Hate-filled lyrics by artists of any genre, Political Hate-Speech by any representative of government, Misrepresentation by left-wing extremists, etc. Fines and imprisonment will be no less than a monthly tithe to a local church and required listening of the "Thru The Bible" series of J. Vernon McGee. All rights guaranteed by this act of legislation shall supersede all other laws.


Author:
Matt Gholson, Non-congressional representative

Friday, April 24, 2009

HURRY UP!

What you get when you cross prune juice and 7 up.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Pastor's Friend

The following article was printed in the Landmark Baptist. I thought it was a good article for all of us to read. And let me say, I thank God that I have a church who loves their pastor!

(From the April 2009 issue)
A good pastor is a best friend to his church members, but sometimes the favor is not returned. Church members mean well - they really like their pastor - they are just too busy with their own lives to think about doing anything to help him out.
If a pastor is to be shown the appreciation that is due every dedicated man of God, some church member must become the "pastor's friend." The congregation as a whole will not think to give him a needed raise in salary. When the "pastor's friend" brings it up, everyone else will think, "Sure he needs a raise; why didn't I think of that?"
It will be the "pastor's friend" who suggests a special service on Pastor Appreciation Day. The "pastor's friend" will know his birthday, and his wife's, and his children's. The "pastor's friend" will remember how many years he has been in the ministry and help plan a special day to celebrate the day marking his call to the ministry.
The "pastor's friend" will look for ways to lighten his workload. And there are many ways to do so.
Every church must have a member who is the "pastor's friend," or else the pastor will probably be taken for granted. Good pastors are not too concerned about money or praise. But it means a lot to God's man to just know that he is appreciated and respected.
Who is the "pastor's friend" in YOUR church?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Aggie Muster

"We gather today, Aggies all, to recall our past, to strengthen our ties, to honor those who have passed before us....We come today to affirm our commitment, our love for this place and all that it represents."

Jack M. Rains, Muster Speaker 1984

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Republic Of Texas
While I do not always agree with Aggie Texas Governor Rick Perry, he has at least made one decision that is worth backing. He has come out and stated that Texas does not have to accept certain demands from the federal government. Read the following and tell me what you think.
Texas Governor Rick Perry issued a statement Thursday saying he has joined other state leaders in supporting House Concurrent Resolution 50.
The resolution aims to reaffirm state rights guaranteed under the 10th amendment of the U.S. Constitution, and to serve as a notice to the federal government that it should desist measures that go beyond its constitutionally protected powers.
“I believe that our federal government has become oppressive in its size, its intrusion into the lives of our citizens, and its interference with the affairs of our state,” Gov. Perry said. “That is why I am here today to express my unwavering support for efforts all across our country to reaffirm the states’ rights affirmed by the Tenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. I believe that returning to the letter and spirit of the U.S. Constitution and its essential 10th Amendment will free our state from undue regulations, and ultimately strengthen our Union.”
Perry said Resolution 50 re-asserts Texas’ sovereignty over all powers not under the federal government’s mandated authority.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Texas Comprimising University?

We often ask the question "When does a church cease to be a church?", but I would like to know when does a "Christian" university cease to be a "Christian" university? TCU (Texas Christian University) has now put forth plans to have a "gay" dorm. What in the world?!? A Christian university openly allowing such things. It's one thing to allow students to attend from all backgrounds, it's another to actively "promote" such a lifestyle. So where is the "just living together" dorm for heterosexuals? What about the "beastiality lifestyle" dorm? Where does it end? When will Christian groups, organizations, schools, and churches stop playing "footsy" with the world. Stand up and stand for something! Goodness, maybe they should change their name to Texas Compromising University!!!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Three Interesting Passover Facts
1. The world's largest Passover Seder is held in Nepal.
2. The sixteenth President of the U.S., Abraham Lincoln, was assassinated during Passover.

3. Coca-Cola makes special Coke for Passover.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

What A Sad State Of "Affairs"

(From my blog - for you Facebookers!) Some people have no conviction whatsoever, while others have the wrong convictions. Read the below article and see how our nation is filled with politicians who are inept and people who are immoral. But should we expect anything different than this? (I'm still fuming about the politician at the end who voted "for" gay marriage (which cannot exist because marriage references a union between a man and woman...I guess Webster did not know our enlightened views at the time!!!) even though he is philosophically against it.)

Vermont legalizes gay marriage with veto override (AP)

MONTPELIER, Vt. – Vermont on Tuesday became the fourth state to legalize gay marriage — and the first to do so with a legislature's vote.
The House recorded a dramatic 100-49 vote, the minimum needed, to override Gov. Jim Douglas' veto. Its vote followed a much easier override vote in the Senate, which rebuffed the Republican governor with a vote of 23-5.
Vermont was the first state to legalize civil unions for same-sex couples and joins Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa in giving gays the right to marry. Their approval of gay marriage came from the courts.
Tuesday morning's legislative action came less than a day after Douglas issued a veto message saying the bill would not improve the lot of gay and lesbian couples because it still would not provide them rights under federal and other states' laws.
Douglas called override "not unexpected." He had called the issue of gay marriage a distraction during a time when economic and budget issues were more important.
"What really disappoints me is that we have spent some time on an issue during which another thousand Vermonters have lost their jobs," the governor said Tuesday. "We need to turn out attention to balancing a budget without raising taxes, growing the economy, putting more people to work."
House Speaker Shap Smith's announcement of the vote brought an outburst of jubilation from some of the hundreds packed into the gallery and the lobby outside the House chamber, despite the speaker's admonishment against such displays.
Among the celebrants in the lobby were former Rep. Robert Dostis, D-Waterbury, and his longtime partner, Chuck Kletecka. Dostis recalled efforts to expand gay rights dating to an anti-discrimination law passed in 1992.
"It's been a very long battle. It's been almost 20 years to get to this point," Dostis said. "I think finally, most people in Vermont understand that we're a couple like any other couple. We're as good and as bad as any other group of people. And now I think we have a chance to prove ourselves here on forward that we're good members of our community."
Dostis said he and Kletecka will celebrate their 25th year together in September.
"Is that a proposal?" Kletecka asked.
"Yeah," Dostis replied. "Twenty-five years together, I think it's time we finally got married."
Craig Bensen, a gay marriage opponent who had lobbied unsuccessfully for a nonbinding referendum on the question, said he was disappointed but believed gay marriage opponents were outspent by supporters by a 20-1 margin.
"The other side had a highly funded, extremely well-oiled machine with all the political leadership except the governor pushing to make this happen," he said. "The fact that it came down to this tight a vote is really astounding."
Also in the crowd was Michael Feiner, a farmer from Roxbury and gay marriage supporter, who took a break from collecting sap for maple syrup-making to come to the Statehouse.
"I'm taking a break to come and basically make sure that I was here to witness history," he said.
The House had initially approved the bill last week with a 95-52 vote. Smith and his leadership team worked through the weekend to try to persuade some legislators to change their minds.
One who did was first-term Rep. Jeff Young, D-St. Albans. He said he continued to be philosophically opposed to gay marriage, but decided that voting with his fellow Democrats would help him be an effective legislator in the future.
"You realize that, you know, it's a poker game in some ways," Young said. "Chips on the table. I'm a freshman. I have no chips. If I ... had 20 years of chips, I probably could play any card I want. I don't have that option."
He added, "It's the way the political game is played."

Monday, April 06, 2009

Opening Day

Well, this is the mind-numbing part - I'm going to the opening day of baseball! Jason and I are leaving in few minutes to see the Rangers play. I don't like watching baseball on TV really, but I love to go to the Ballpark at Arlington. So pray we'll have a safe trip and the Rangers will win!

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Uhhh...Am I dreaming?


Okay. Now while I have some other major points of disagreement with President Obama (such as calling America arrogant), I have to say, "Give him a break!" concerning not giving a 'kiss of greeting' to the French 1st Lady. I mean, come on. This is ridiculous. I may have some major political concerns about him, but to lambaste the man concerning not giving a greeting in a certain way is crossing the line. Who cares?!? It's like him not giving a fist bump and just shaking your hand. Who cares?!? It's not that big a deal! Shouldn't we be more worried about what policies he's instituting? Now that is where we should get upset.


{It is reported that President Obama had a cold and did not want to spread the germs. Of all people, I can understand that!!!}


Okay...now I've got to go wake up because I know I'm having a nightmare after defending President Obama's actions in the lack of greeting someone with a kiss!

Friday, April 03, 2009

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Good Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday?
Since Easter is almost here, what about this? What is your interpretation of the day of the week on which the crucifixion occurred? I know Friday is the most popular...but is it the most Biblical?

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

April Fools!!!

Ha! You just thought I was not going to blog about how our entire foundation of American civilization has crumbled! I know you thought I was not going to talk about how we no longer have to honor contracts (just following the example of our government) or how we can legally commit extortion (just following the example of our government) or how we can do anything we want and say it is for the good of the people (just following the example of our government). And yes, I too wish this was a sad, pathetic April Fools joke on the whole nation, but the truth is...it's not. We have a government that is too powerful being run by people who are too corrupt. Oh yes...I know this will raise the ire of some people, but the truth hurts!

"The fool hath said there is no God..."

Monday, March 30, 2009

This Is Truly Mind-Numbing
If I hadn't seen it on Fox News...I wouldn't have believed it. There is a school district that instituted a "No Touch Policy." All high-fives, hugs, and handshakes were to be banned. (In fact, the student would be expelled or suspended.) Now, the whole story is not given, but even if they were trying to do something legitimate (like stopping sexual harassment), who would come up with this?!?
"Okay...we don't want you to give each other high-fives or even touch each other because that could be seen as threatening."
"But what about football? Don't we have to touch each other to play football?"
"Not any more. We are now playing flag football. And there's an automatic ejection from the game if you touch someone."
This fits in a category all by itself. Having said that...I'll hush.
(Or maybe I won't!)
By the way, President Obama said that the government has no interest in running GM, but they just "fired" the CEO? And they have no interest in running Chrysler, but they told them to join with Fiat? Man, I sure hope they do not have any interest in running my life...wait...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Friday's Post Early!


This video seems to fit my years as a youth minister pretty well. Thought you might relate to some of this.


I've Seen It All

Only Two Swords
And He said to them, "But now, let him who has a purse take it along, likewise also a bag, and let him who has no sword sell his robe and buy one. For I tell you, that this which is written must be fulfilled in Me, 'AND HE WAS NUMBERED WITH TRANSGRESSORS'; for that which refers to Me has its fulfillment." And they said, "Lord, look, here are two swords." And He said to them, "It is enough." (Luke 22:36-38)
Why was Jesus interested in the swords? Basically, I have found two main interpretations of the phrase "And He was numbered with transgressors." One is that He was numbered with transgressors on the cross. The other is that He was numbered with transgressors meaning that the two swords would be enough to make them look like "outlaws." What is your take on this?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Whoa, Nelly!!!
Monday, I enjoyed a 45 minute conversation with a fellow pastor (who shall remain nameless...just in case he'd rather not be associated with me!!!) and received a lot of encouragement from just "talking." We talked about church issues, pastoral issues, and some political issues. Basically, we jumped from one subject to another and just "chewed the fat." It was really a great way to start the day and week. However, I have to be honest about one thing. While visiting with (fill in the blank), I found myself worrying about wasting time. I kept thinking of all the "things" I had to get accomplished and probably did not enjoy our conversation as much as I could have (though I did enjoy it). Yet, part of me kept saying, you need this. You need to slow down and take some time with people. You need to get rid of some "things" and enjoy the world God has blessed you with. You need relationships, encouragement, and some relaxation. (Now, don't get me wrong, I know the Bible teaches us to work. But it does teach us to rest too!) And so, I don't feel guilty about taking 45 minutes to visit with a fellow pastor who maybe needed some encouragement too. In fact, I think I have "stumbled" upon a major fault of mine - "busyness". I like to make sure everything is just so-so, but many of those things would be just fine without me. I think maybe I should start slowing down and taking time for people more deliberately. And thanks (fill in the blank) for visiting with me Monday. I really, really needed it!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Environment vs. Humans
Yes, yes...I know. "Mother Earth" has given us life, thus we should protect and take care of her...blah, blah, blah. Why are people so blinded by this environmental wacko stuff? People are more worried about a tree than a baby. "Don't cut (kill) down the tree!" is their mantra while they turn and tell us "It's okay to abort (murder) a baby!" I'm at a loss...really, I am. I mean, yes, it is important that we take care of the environment (i.e., conservation). I'm all for using the land and using it properly. After all, I hunt and have raised all sorts of livestock. Do you think I want to destroy the earth...well, no! But I do not worship the land either. Good grief. Now comes this report out of England. I hope you don't enjoy reading it.
British Environmental Advisor Backs Population Control, Two Kids Per Family
(by Steven ErteltLifeNews.com EditorFebruary 2, 2009)
London, England (LifeNews.com) -- A chief environmental advisor in England is urging population control and says he believes there should be a limit in Britain of no more than two children per family. John Porritt, who chairs the UK government's Sustainable Development Commission, says any more than two children is "irresponsible."
Porritt told a British newspaper that the current climate in England can't accommodate any more children.
He says the national government should aggressively spend taxpayer funds on promoting abortions and birth control, contraception, and implementing programs urging parents to limit their number of children.
"I am unapologetic about asking people to connect their own responsibility for their total environmental footprint and how they decide to procreate and how many children they think are appropriate," he said.
"I think we will work our way towards a position that says having more than two children is irresponsible," he told the London Times.
"It is the ghost at the table. We have all these big issues that everybody is looking at and then you don't really hear anyone say the 'p' word," he said of population control.
The government is expected to get a report next month from Porritt, who is an aide to Prime Minister Gordon Brown, on the status of the population figures in England.
Porritt's comments have upset pro-life groups who compared his views to those of communist China, which forbids parents from having any more than one child and employs harsh punishments such as forced abortions and sterilizations for violators.
The population control regime in China has also resulted in sex-selection abortions and infanticides of girl babies and has drastically altered the male-female ratio of the nation. That has led to several social problems such as a bachelor nation, sex trafficking and prostitution, and the sale of teen girls.
Josephine Quintaville, founder of the pro-life group Comment on Reproductive Ethics, which is pro-life, responded to the population control advocacy.
"This seems to be the same old thing: save the world but kill a human," she said.
"As far as I understand it, it is the most affluent nations that are doing the most damage to the world, not the countries that have got the most children," she said.
Porritt also says he wants to convince more environmental groups of the connection between lowering the population levels and protecting the environment. However, many environmental groups have long been criticized for backing eugenic population control.

Monday, March 23, 2009

It's Frustrating

Well, the U.S. government is a behemoth which seems unstoppable. It's mind-boggling the non-sensical, useless, inane, and perfectly silly ideas, laws, and programs that come out of Washington. Is government useless? No! God instituted it! Is our government useless? No! We need government! Has our government gone too far? Well, yeah!

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -Thomas Jefferson

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Please Pray For The Southern Baptists!
And I mean that seriously. I received an email (given below) asking for prayer for the Southern Baptists. Basically it is asking for you to pray for women "pastors" and for women who are being called into ministry. In other words, it wants you to pray for something unscriptural! So, please pray for Southern Baptists - not that they will endorse women pastors - but that they will hold to the truth concerning this matter. (And there is quite a push to endorse women pastors in the Convention.)
Original Email:
Read The Next Step at www.bWebaptist.com. The Next Step asks Baptists everywhere to do three things:
1. Pray for women pastors and for women who are being called into ministry.
2. Pray for a softening of the heart of the leadership of the Southern Baptist Convention toward women in the United States.
3. Start an email cell group which would commit to pray and to enlist others.

You may have read about this website in the Associated Baptist Press, in the Baptist Standard, or in Baptists Today, or on many of the blogs that picked up the story, such as Baptist Planet, the religion blog of The Dallas Morning News, Mainstream Baptists Bruce Prescott’s blog.

This is your opportunity to be the voice for your daughters.

Shirley Taylor
bWe Baptist Women for Equality
ONE of my responses (addressing an article written by Mrs. Taylor):
Also, I have read your article and you seem to have forgotten that while Christ the Son is in ALL ways equal to the Father, He SUBMITTED Himself to the Father's will. Yet in no way did this make Him inferior...instead, He was lifted up and glorified by the Father. You can have complementarianism and egalitarianism together. They are not contradictory...in fact, you have committed a logical fallacy in assuming such.

Matt
Her response to my response:
Matthew,

In the 1960s when I was teaching a Sunday school class of women in my Baptist church, the teacher's guide made the statement "The Jews loved nothing better than to go to the marketplace and argue over whether or not women had souls." I had no idea that Southern Baptists would be arguing over essentially the same thing 40 years later. Of course we dress it up and call it fancy names like complementarianism and egalitarianism. But it is the same argument. An argument designed to keep women in their place.

Jesus said that the soul is housed in a body and that when it is freed from the body in heaven that you won't be able to tell the difference between a man's soul and a woman's soul (actually he said that in heaven there would be no male or female, marrying or giving in marriage).

If that is not equality, then I don't know what is.

That same soul that I have now will be the one I take into eternity. And it is going to look just like yours: washed in the blood of the Lamb.

Thanks for writing. I appreciate you taking the time to do so.

Shirley Taylor
bWe Baptist Women for Equality
Now my response to that is...WHAT?!? What she said has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the discussion at hand. A "straw man" was set up to divert the argument...but we're not going to fall for that are we?!? The Bible teaches that men are to be Pastors...not women. No offense, but we must stay with Scripture. Also, this does not mean women are inferior. Quite the contrary. God made ALL of us in the image of Him, but He also put us in certain roles for certain reasons. Why must we Baptist feel they have to be politically correct and culturally relevant but not biblically sound?!?!?

Monday, March 16, 2009

Well...at least he was creative...

BURLINGTON, Vt. – A man who bolted antlers to the head of a dead doe and posed for a photograph with the deer was fined $400 and jailed for game violations. Marcel Fournier, 19, shot the deer the evening of Nov. 22 and used lag bolts and epoxy to attach a 10-point rack, officials said. He then checked in the kill as lawful game at Barnie's Market. It's illegal to kill an antlerless deer, and it's also illegal to hunt at night. The Concord resident admitted to the killing and led a game warden to the deer's remains after an anonymous caller alerted authorities. Fournier said he had "quite a time" drilling and fastening the antlers, authorities said. Game warden David Gregory said the antlers didn't look or feel right. "When you grabbed them, you'd feel movement," he said. Col. David LeCours, chief warden of the state Department of Fish and Wildlife, said the size of the antlers relative to the size of the deer seemed off. "Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural," he said. Fournier was sentenced to 10 days in jail Feb. 18 for taking a deer in a closed season. He won't qualify for a state hunting, fishing or trapping license for at least three years. LeCours said add-on antlers are the stuff of legend, but that it's the first documented case of it in Vermont.

Yahoo! News

Friday, March 13, 2009

Must've Been A Cat...


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Who Do These Children Belong To?!?

2 John:
1 The elder unto the elect lady and her children, whom I love in the truth; and not I only, but also all they that have known the truth;
2 For the truth's sake, which dwelleth in us, and shall be with us for ever.
3 Grace be with you
, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love.
4 I rejoiced greatly that I found of thy children walking in truth, as we have received a commandment from the Father.
5 And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another.
6 And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.
7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.
8 Look to yourselves, that we lose not those things which we have wrought, but that we receive a full reward.
9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:
11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
12 Having many things to write unto you, I would not write with paper and ink: but I trust to come unto you, and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.
13 The children of thy elect sister greet thee. Amen.
I've heard that the woman refers to a church and the children refer to either the members or churches established from this church. I have also heard that this woman and children refer to real people. What is your opinion on this and why? Please give an explanation of your opinion. I hope to see some new ideas and clarification on exactly what this means. (I'll give you my understanding later.)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Great Time

I truly enjoyed my time at the 55th annual Pastors Missionaries Conference in Texarkana. I enjoyed meeting with the Bogard Press staff on Monday concerning the "Chosen" DVD Bible Study on which we are working. It was a very productive meeting! I also enjoyed all the great fellowship before, after, and even during the meetings! Of course, we hit IHOP Monday night (Bro. Wayne Stringer's favorite hang-out???). I truly appreciate the opportunity to speak Tuesday morning at the Conference. The following is a very brief outline of the message I brought.

The Secret To Success - Joshua 1:1-9:
I. Realize Your Calling From The Lord - vss. 1-4
II. Raise Your Confidence In The Lord - vss. 6-8
III. Recognize Your Closeness To The Lord - vs. 5

(Jason, you should enjoy the alliteration there...) I hope it was an encouragement to everyone.

I also recorded my 20 minute session of the DVD Bible Study. My part is "Chosen To Serve." Let me say, it is somewhat different when you have several cameras recording you teaching a small home group. (Thank you to everyone who was so patient with me!!!) Well, it was a wonderful experience, and I cannot wait until next years conference!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Obama's Financial Stimulus

It seems that Obama is going to use embryos to stimulate the economy. Scientists are excited about the $10 billion that will immediately be pumped into the medical field. Big whoop! Who cares about money when it's compared to life. Besides there are ways (adult stem cell research) to find cures for diseases, etc. And don't even bring up Obama and the teachers' unions!

Monday, March 09, 2009

That's another fine mess the recession's gotten us into, say Laurel and Hardy fans

Published Date: 09 March 2009
By SHÂN ROSS


It has brought some of the worlds largest financial institutions to its knees and now it appears that Scotland's Laurel and Hardy fan club is the latest victim of the credit crunch. Organisers of the group, which calls itself "Sons of the Desert" after the 1933 film, claim the downturn has meant a sharp rise in membership fees. The group, which was founded in 1965, meets in pubs and clubs around the country to watch films by the comedy duo. Members wear fezzes, don flowing robes and call their meeting venues "tents". Now organisers are saying pubs and clubs where they meet have put up the rent for the rooms used and they have no choice but to charge members more. And they fear if fans are unable to find the extra cash, they will leave the club and use the internet to contact fellow members instead. But Charlie Lewis, 47, "Grand Sheik" of one of the biggest tents in Scotland, says he will fight to prevent that. Mr Lewis, from the Block-Heads tent – named after the 1938 film – said he had been forced to raise annual membership fees by almost a £1 a month to £25. He said: "We are determined to fight the credit crunch and would even meet in people's homes if it came to the push." Being a member of a virtual tent and watching films on the web doesn't appeal to me, to be honest. Part of the appeal of the tents is meeting people with the same interests and having a lot of fun. "We meet up once a month to watch Laurel and Hardy films and there is a fantastic atmosphere. Our members come from all walks of life and people bring their children along." Mr Lewis, a civil servant, told members in his "The Sheik Speaks" column in the Block-Heads' Bulletin that they would have three months to pay the increased fee of 90p a month, which he said was due to the "the current financial gloom". Members of the 20-strong tent, one of the biggest in Scotland, were also told: "If we could have possibly avoided this scenario, we would have, but we no longer have the funds to maintain such low rates." Mr Lewis added that his tent, like many others, was also facing extra costs converting to digital technology. The Sons of the Desert was founded in 1965 in New York by John McCabe, biographer of Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy. It has grown into a worldwide organisation, with 38 tents in the UK having approximately 5,000 members. A police force in the US has formed its own tent, while fans in Stranraer started up the Their Purple Moment tent partly in honour of the 1928 film but also, bizarrely, in memory of Operation Purple, a Nato exercise in Galloway in 1985. Willie McIntyre, a retired nuclear physicist from Largs, who is the Grand Sheik of Scotland, and runs the Call of the Cuckoos tent, said: "There is an extra quality to be derived by watching the films in larger groups than those which can be fitted into your living room, so the Sons of the Desert love to congregate. The Sons of the Desert have been known to plead for meeting rooms without a fee and this will no doubt be necessary again." Mark Cousins, a film critic, backed the Sons of the Desert campaign. He said: "It would be a real shame if something like the credit crunch threatened them."

Click here for original article (from new.scotsman.com)

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

New Posting Format (for funny videos scroll on down)
Mind-Numbing Monday - Thought for the week...some mind-numbing, some mind-altering.
Topical Tuesday - Topics such as politics, economy, etc. will be addressed.
Wonderful Wednesday - Free for all. You can help decide the topics on this day!
Theological Thursday - Well, if I'm at seminary teaching, I might as well take advantage of it.
Fun Friday - You can only imagine. This should provide some of the funniest Christian (or at least clean) humor you can find in one spot.
Funny Church Announcements



Sunday School Scandal

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Thank God For Fried Chicken



Friday, January 30, 2009

Just For You Chris!


Copyright Gospel Communications International, Inc - www.reverendfun.com

Friday, January 23, 2009

Monday, January 05, 2009

Churchgoers Survive Potluck Nightmare (thanks to the Sacred Sandwich)


Tragedy struck Langley Baptist Church on Sunday afternoon when every covered dish at the church’s monthly potluck was a green bean casserole. Stunned onlookers watched in horror as family after family arrived with the same popular side dish in tow. By the time grace was said over the meal, there were over twenty-five green bean casseroles lining the buffet table with no meat dish in sight.
Marilyn Perkins, supervisor of the Langley Baptist potluck, recalls the terror of witnessing the casseroles flooding in. “I’ve heard scary stories from other churches about excess hominy or okra, but you never think it’s going to happen to your church,” she said in tears. “All I could think at the time was, Why us, Lord… why us?”
Repercussions from the church disaster were felt throughout the community as area grocers reported a shortage of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup and French’s French fried onions.
A few brave church members weathered the green bean avalanche by using large amounts of sweet tea to wash it down, while others, dazed and hungry, fled to their homes. A small faction of survivors, led by Jim Fairbanks, found shelter at a nearby McDonald’s restaurant. “Deacon Fairbanks was quick-thinking and showed amazing courage under pressure,” said Anita West. “Just when I was about to go down, he threw a Happy Meal to me. He saved my life.”
Deacon Fairbanks, however, shrugged off Mrs. West’s praise. “The real hero was Frank Woodburn, who tripped while helping other members cross the parking lot to the golden arches. I’ll never forget him lying there on the concrete, refusing my help and screaming, Save yourself! Now that’s a true hero. Frank will be missed.”
Despite the initial panic, church officials were able to restore order and send people home without further incident. Reports of one member being detained for trying to sneak extra wafers out of the church’s communion tray could not be confirmed.
In the aftermath of the ill-fated potluck, theories abounded as to why this catastrophe took place. Speculation on the cause ran the gamut from the 25 cent sale on Libby’s green beans at McGonigle’s Market to a sign of the Apocalypse. The main theological issue under debate, however, was whether it was part of God’s sovereign decree or the tragic outcome of man’s free will exercising the right to bring a lame side dish to church.
Church member Claude Anderson believes it was God’s judgment. “I’ve told them for twenty years they shouldn’t be calling it pot-luck,“ explained Anderson. “That’s an affront to an Almighty God Who doesn’t deal in luck. I just hope this egregious sin against God doesn’t ruin my chances to win the lottery. I’m feeling pretty good about my numbers this week. Cross my fingers.”
Seven year old Kenny Myers, son of members Todd and Carrie Myers, tried to put things in the proper perspective. “I’m just glad they weren’t brussel sprouts. Seriously, I woulda puked.”
Dale Morton, pastor at Langley Baptist, planned to hold a special service next Sunday to help his congregation deal with the emotional effects of the disaster. “This is a hard time for my flock,” explained Morton, “and I’m not sure the Bible has all the answers for a tragedy like this. So I think it’s important to let the people have a time to grieve and cry out to God. I mean, come on! That’s a lot of green bean casserole, even for Baptists.”
When asked if the story of the Israelites complaining about the provision of God’s manna would have any significance for his congregation at this time, Pastor Morton grimaced. “Shoot… I didn’t even think about that. Now I’m going to have to trash the analogy to Stephen’s martyrdom and rewrite my whole sermon.”