A Little Political Humor?

Thanks to Brian Jones for the following bit of humor: (don't take it too seriously...it's just a joke!)

Sen. Reid goes to a local GM dealer in Washington, D.C. with the intention of buying a brand new vehicle. He looks around and finds one he likes. After going back and forth with the salesman, he settles on a price of $45,000.
Sen. Reid and the salesman go back to the office to complete the paperwork. Sen. Reid works out a 4-year payment plan, and signs on the bottom line. The salesman shakes his hand and says, “Thanks Senator Reid, the car will be ready for pickup in 4 years.”
Sen. Reid says, “What are you talking about? Where are the keys to my new car?” The salesman replies, “No, you don’t understand Senator. You make payments for 4 years… THEN we give you the car. You know, just like your health plan.”
Sen. Reid, with a choking voice, says to the salesman, “But that’s not fair.”
The salesman replies, "Duh!"

While we sometimes are instructed to wait on the Lord, at least we know, whether it be 4 or 40 years, He will do as He says and provide all we need!

How To Give The Cat A Pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label or call vet to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply bandages to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have a dog.

How to give the dog a pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Throw it in the air.

-- copied; original source unknown