Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I'm Suing My Parents

Yes, that's right. I'm suing my parents for defamation of character, for all the years they went around calling me by my full name when I got in trouble. Yes, they called me Matthew Derek Gholson! They used my middle name, and of course, we all know that middle names are now off limits. I mean we definitely cannot say Hillary Rodham Clinton, John Sydney McCain, or even Barack Hussein Obama, for that might insinuate something. I mean, let's forget the facts, and just make everyone "feel" good. Oh well, maybe I'll settle out of court for a blackberry cobbler.

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